Snake Heart

2

Naturally when in Hanoi we sought out the weird and wonderful for each and every meal. When we heard of a “Snake Village” called Le Mat on the outskirts of town we quickly decided that this was worth further investigation. After a quick taxi ride over the river we arrived to find a suburban area with very little sign of action. Luckily there were plenty of local hawkers eager to take us to their “friends” house where we could enjoy a meal of snake.

The man jumped on his bike and rode off to a local house to negotiate what kind of commission he’d get for leading four stupid westerners to the snake vendor. We followed through a dingy garage to arrive at the below scene.

Cobra ready to strike

Cobra ready to strike

So how much? For the low low price of $90 US we could eat the snake. Considering that almost every meal we’d had in Vietnam had cost less than a dollar we quickly left to find another restaurant / house. The fact that the characters in the garage looked like the shadiest men in all of Vietnam certainly didn’t help.

Our “good friend” on the motorbike rode off to find us another vendor. He lead us down a few dusty alleyways to a lavish mansion with some snake cages out the back. The man was friendly and the price quickly dropped to $35 US for all four of us to have a feast of snake with alcohol included. Expensive but what the hey, we agreed and the man went about selecting the unlucky snake.

Cobra's neck being broken

Cobra's neck being broken

Out came two jars, two funnels, a knife and a doomed Cobra. The snake’s neck was broken, it’s heart was located and a cut was made.

The cut is made

The cut is made

At this stage we have no idea what is going on. Why are they collecting the blood? I guess we’ll find out later.

Draining the snake's blood

Draining the snake's blood

A close up of the blood being drained.

Draining the snake's blood 2

Draining the snake's blood 2

The heart is cut out and slips down to the bottom of a small glass. It is still beating rapidly for several minutes before it begins to slow to just a beat here and there.

The beating heart

The beating heart

The men make another cut further down the snake and begin to drain it’s dull green bile. It looks something like very strong green tea but smells like… snake bile I guess! At this stage we are led upstairs to the guest area and take a seat. A bottle of snake blood and another of snake bile are brought up to us by our host and the sounds & smells of cooking snake waft upwards from downstairs. Several shots are prepared, the first contains the snake’s heart along with a healthy splash of bile and some home made rice wine just to make the entire concoction that much more appetizing.

Shots of snake's blood with rice wine

Shots of snake's blood with rice wine

By this stage we are all feeling a little queasy and the question is raised as to who is going to have the heart. I offer to be the guinea pig for this excursion and find very little in the way objections from my friends, one of whom has already gone outside for fresh air and fails to return until the meal is over.

Snake heart in rice wine with bile

Snake heart in rice wine with bile

Looks delicious doesn’t it? Our host explains that the locals drink snake blood to help them with “sexy lady boom boom”. Look out Viagra!

Yum!

Yum!

Surprise, surprise, it tasted just like snake bile with rice wine with a raw heart in it. Luckily the off burning aftertaste of the rice wine saved me from more than a few seconds of suffering. We now proceed with shot after shot of rice wine with snake blood.

Shot of snake blood with rice wine

Shot of snake blood with rice wine

These were not too bad and definitely far superior to the snake bile. Our host quickly works out that we are not interested in any more bile shots and so begins to help himself, quickly becoming outrageously drunk.

Crispy snake meat

Crispy snake meat

Our host’s wife enters with several dishes made from the unfortunate snake. The first being snake meat which has been battered with flour and sesame seeds and deep fried. Mmmmmm tastes like chicken yet with the consistency of mashed potato. We are all surprised and impressed, the crispy pieces of snake are quickly consumed.

Snake spring rolls

Snake spring rolls

Snake spring rolls anyone? Very Yum. After dipping in the traditional Vietnamese vinegar sauce (often used with rice paper rolls) they were a real crowd pleaser.

Snake balls in rice wine

Snake balls in rice wine

Our host now obtains a large bottle of something from the cupboard. The fluid within it is cloudy and has some mysterious “things” floating around the bottom. After some interesting sign language we understand that these “things” are indeed snake testicles and the liquid itself is rice wine. We were all quite amused until our host pours as each a shot. We took a bit of convincing but eventually caved in and downed our shots. The taste was foul and we all refused to touch our second shot, again leaving our host to enjoy the spoils.

Deep fried snake skin

Deep fried snake skin

Next we are served snake skin that has been deep fried to perfection. This was delicious, something like a cross between chicken skin and the crackling on roast pork. We all agreed it was the highlight of the meal and fought over the last few pieces.

Water Pipe

Water Pipe

With the meal over and our shot glasses empty we move to a new room downstairs where our host has readied a home made water pipe. Despite having one of the better homes in Hanoi, his pipe is nothing more than a scaffolding tube with a tin can strapped to it. He shows us his favorite party trick which is to overload his already massive pipe with tobacco, spark up and inhale the entire lot then hold his breath for over a minute. When he breathes out all the smoke is gone. Wow. We begin to wonder if he drinks and smokes this with all of his snake guests and if so how he hasn’t died from multiple organ failure. We thank our host and leave him with his well earned US dollars, now it’s time to see if we can locate that restaurant that serves locusts…

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Comments

2 Responses to “Snake Heart”
  1. renee brack says:

    Wow, okay – I can’t even imagine what the Still Beating Snake Heart Shot would taste like – or the texture.
    And snake testicles huh.
    I didn’t know they had them.
    Though they can be quite ballsy creatures.

    Great writing style BTW.

  2. Tsuki says:

    Snake testicles… how.. appetising. To say the least that part of this was a bit, repelling but, it was a entertaining nonetheless. I am still, quite curious as to how the host could possibly convince you to do such a thing as drink such a vile liquid. I praise your “group’s” determination to drink it though. I am pleased to have read this article either way. Well done.

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